more terrible monsters
by hollyhobbit101
Summary: The night before they head to Apocalypse World, Rowena seeks comfort from the one person she knows might understand. Tag/missing scene to 13x21, Beat The Devil


**This was supposed to be purely platonic Sam and Rowena and it ended up being Not That. I think you can kind of still read it as non shippy. Maybe. I don't know. Hope you enjoy!**

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The night before they go to Apocalypse World, there's a knock at Sam's door. He shifts his gaze from the ceiling - at which he's been staring, unfocused, for he's-not-sure-how-long - to the clock - 1:37 - to the door.

"Come in," he calls, frowning. It's not like he was sleeping, but it's unlike... well, it's unlike anyone in the Bunker to randomly come knocking at night. At a stretch, maybe Dean...

The door swings open and Rowena steps inside, looking pensive and nervous, as though she's ready to bolt any second. Sam pushes himself into a sitting position, frown deepening as her eyes dart around the room, looking everywhere but his face.

"Rowena -"

"Not big on decoration, are we?" she interrupts, wrinkling her nose in apparent disinterest. Sam knows she's stalling, but the question throws him for a second. "You Winchester boys, always so contained. Would it kill you to show a little personality every once in a while?"

"Rowena," Sam repeats, regaining his wits. She looks at him - the first time since she walked in - and he sees very clearly the worry and fear she's always kept under wraps. It's the sort of openness he's only seen in her once before, on a rainy afternoon in Oklahoma, and that memory only increases his concern. "You didn't come here to talk interior design."

She clasps and unclasps her hands, giving him a weak smile. "No," she admits "I did not."

"Then what -"

"This boy of yours. _Lucifer's_ boy." She hesitates. "Is he..."

"No," Sam says, suddenly understanding. "He's not. Jack is a good kid, I swear."

Rowena doesn't seem convinced, so Sam gets to his feet and walks over to her. She watches him with barely concealed apprehension, but doesn't push him away when he hesitantly takes her hands in his own. He's suddenly very aware of how small she is in comparison to him, and he feels a sudden urge to wrap her in his arms and reassure her that she has nothing to fear. He doesn't do that, knowing she would probably reject him if he did, and instead forces those thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Jack has powers, yes, but he's been learning how to use them for good," he continues. "And it's true that he's made mistakes, but he's never deliberately hurt anyone just because he could. I don't think he even has it in him to hurt someone like that. I think... Lucifer might be Jack's father, but they've never met. Jack doesn't really seem to care about Lucifer."

Sam closes his eyes, breathing in shakily. When he opens them again, Rowena is staring directly at him, hopeful, relieved, pleading. They gaze at each other in silence for a second, but the moment passes so quickly Sam can hardly be sure it happened at all.

"Right then," Rowena says, breaking away from him. "I suppose I'd best get going. Beauty sleep is not optional these days."

The slight wobble in her voice betrays her, and Sam aches to follow as she gathers herself and turns to leave. Without thinking, he reaches out and places a hand on her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.

"Rowena," he says, softly. "Are you sure you're okay to go through with this?"

"You say that like I have a choice," she replies, smiling ruefully. Then she takes a steadying breath and something in her expression hardens, all traces of her earlier vulnerability gone. "But yes. If your boy is as good as you say, then there's nothing to worry about, is there?"

Sam smiles sadly back. There's plenty to worry about, both of them know it, but he hopes he's at least eased her fears about Jack, if only a little.

"Just remember you'll owe me one afterwards," she reminds him. "A big one, mind."

He laughs and lets go of her, shaking his head. "Yeah, we'll see."

She rolls her eyes and mutters something Sam can't decipher about _bloody Winchesters_ , then leaves his room. Sam watches her retreating back as she heads down the corridor to her own room, sighing heavily once she's out of sight. He eases himself back down onto his bed, fixing his gaze back on the ceiling as thoughts whirl through his head.

Eventually, he begins to drift off, his eyes too heavy to keep open. As he falls into an uneasy sleep, his last thought is of Rowena.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review if you have a moment!**


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